catch28

so when last we’d heard from our intrepid hero (ie, me), it was over a month ago, in the middle of winter, and I was somewhat between places to live.

So… what’s been doing? Well, first the good news. I have a place! and a 12 month lease! and it’s far exceeded my expectations of what I could get, and hasn’t left me so incredibly dirt poor. Which is all good. And I’m loving the ’sham. Which is ’sham talk for Petersham. It’s a wee bit further from the city than I’ve been for a few years, but so unexpectedly full of lovely bits. I’m water tower adjacent, and titty bar adjacent, and marrickville adjacent, and two trains stations adjacent, and gay bar adjacent, and leichhardt adjacent, and great turkish place adjacent, and park adjacent, and pretty damn smack-bang in the middle of everything. Ok, maybe I’m not literally right next door to all thoses things, but most are within a 6 minute walk, so its pretty damn close.

So since I moved in about three weeks ago I’ve been steadily getting back into the goove of inner city live. This has meant re-learning the parramatta road buses, and going to the gym again, and checking out the markets (whereever and whichever are on), and going to see art, and eating lots of different food, and going dancing, and going drinking, and just generally being very busy again. And, of course, spring is less then a week away, so things will get busier. So on top of that I’ve added study, which starts next week, and I’ve promised myself not to drop out of (I want a postgraduate qualification goddammit!). Spring being less than a week away means I’ve also just recently incremented into my next decade, which seems to be making me question the age-appropriateness of all my clothes, particularly the ones without sleeves.

Which brings me to my saturn return, which I am either in the middle of or safely through, depending on who I talk too. I’m thinking in the middle of is possibly more accurate, considering that since the start of the year I’ve had three different jobs, and I’ve moved three times, and I’ve had three pay rises (unconnected to the job changing). Although, now that I think about it, that means three lots of threes, so maybe its over? I dunno, if things calm down between now and new year, I’ll let you know.

Anyways, I’m muchly tired now, so off to bed. 

The last two weeks have been pretty awful. Starting with dental issues and being short staffed during the busiest week of work ever and having no prospective houses to look at to ease my rental crisis during the first week, continuing through to the most horrible week I’ve ever spent in sydney and no chance to avoid all the pilgrim arseholes swarming the city. Friday found me out in parra having dinner and counselling a friend over a recent traumatic experience she had. And saturday I woke up too late to go see the one really viable place to rent that was showing. So even though I had this great outfit worked out for kooky (somehow managing to combine the twin themes of wearing black, in protest against the pope, and neon for the winter wonderland), I just could not bring myself to be bothered trekking in for a night of conversations about a) my depressing rental crisis, and b) pilgrims.

I was also trying to avoid that pilgrim flu thats been going around. And the pilgrim gastro.

So saturday was pretty much a nothing day, compared to what my plans for it were. And sunday, well sunday was better in that I actually did what I planned to do, which was go to the gym. but that’s not exactly a ravingly great experience that I’d been looking forward to, more just my regular thing that I do.

So I wouldn’t term it a failure of a weekend, but more that circumstances conspired to make it a largely unsuccessful one. But at least I’ve got an outfit to wear next weekend, to what ever I happen to make it to.

I don’t care if you walk around with your religion on your sleve. It’s when its splashed on the light poles, and the buses, and the train stations, and the television, and the newspapers, and the parks, and pretty much damn everywhere that it starts to get to me. And its starting to get to me. WYD has been slowly filling me with rage for the past few months now, damn fucking catholics, taking over our city, getting all sorts of special benefits just cuz there’s a lot of them. its pisses me right off. And now there’s people to go with all the damn advertising. They’re really not even trying to pretend that it not just a big money spinner for the catholics are they. Can’t wait til its over, wish they’d all just fuck off now.

So last saturday I went house hunting, and found this absolutely beautiful one bedroom art deco apartment in peterham. It was stunning. Which found me on sunday running around getting my shit together to put in an application on the place. Which found me at work at 8am on monday morning, hurridly scanning things onto computer, because they don’t accept faxed applications! So, I put together this pretty sweet email, attached all my documents in pdf format, and sent it off to the real estate agent, hoping they’d pick me.

I loved this place, it was so good I actually dreamt about living there every night from saturday when i first saw it, through til last night. I even found myself fantasizing about men doing naughty things to me in the apartment, when I was having special me time. And yes, it was hotter cuz it was in that apartment. So anyway, I get to today, and I get a call from the real estate agent. Yep, you guessed it, I didn’t get the apartment.

but… appearently they loved my application, and Sylvia, the property manager, told Amy, the real estate peon, to make sure she called me because there is another apartment in the building coming up in two weeks, and they wanted to keep my application in perference for that apartment, so if I liked it I wouldn’t have to put in a new application.

Now, is it just me, or is that just a little weird? I had no idea I had somehow made the transition from scungey student renter to professional urban renter. Have I crossed that mythical line where real estate agents no longer treat me like something they scraped off the bottom of their shoe, and was now a preferred reliable tenent? Can that even happen in Sydney? Its freaking me out. 

Did your last kiss mean anything? Nothing special

How old is the last person you kissed? I don’t think I asked.

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight? Nope.

What woke you up this morning? Tooth ache

Your current relationship status? Single

What is your current mood? Satisfied

What shirt are you wearing? Bonds T.

Are you crazy? Can be, but more silly crazy, not so much psycho crazy.

What was the highlight of your week? I actually really enjoyed that personal training session on sunday.

What are you listening to? The Presets,

How long is your hair? short.

Last thing you ate? Mum’s meat pie.

Are you happy right now? ’spose.

Are you wearing make-up? Nup.

What were you doing at 11:30 last night? Going to bed.

What are you looking forward to in the next three months? Place of my own, getting tattoo for my birthday

What did you do today? Applied for a lease on a beautiful art deco apartment in petersham, all my work, go to the gym, double booked my thursday evening.

Do you like to smile? among other things.

What time do you usually wake up on the weekends? 9am generally.

What are you wearing? runners, work pants, wool jacket.

If you could live somewhere else, where would it be? London, New York, Ballina etc

Do you like your phone? Much better than my last one.

Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong? Can’t remember the last time I was wrong

Last time you took a nap? Saturday, after some beers and codeine.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close? Maybe, but i’m sure there’ll be reconnection. people get busy, and who can blame them?

When was the last time you cried really hard? A while ago, maybe a year or two. I cry a little more often now though.

Who was the last person who texted you? My Personal Trainer.

What is your natural hair color? brown.

Can you play guitar hero? Nope

Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Warm, and sunny.

What do you currently smell like? sweaty

Last thing you bought? Protein Shake

Have you ever shared a drink with anyone? der.

How much money do you have on you? $10 I think

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be? Not really, which is kinda boring.

Do you burn easily in the sun? Can do, have done.

Where did your last hug take place? In my parent’s kitchen.

Where were you raised? South-west Sydney.

It’s been almost a week since I fled the psycho housemate, and gosh, being west is just so much not fun. One has to get up much earlier and travel much further in much more unpleasent conditions, just to get to the same spot that a sunny stroll down tree lined streets used to get me to. Oh well. Re-adjusting to public transport is trying at best.

Muchly thanks goes out to friends who’ve let me know of possible share housing options. It’s totally appreciated, but me thinks I’m wedded to the idea of my own place for a while at least. I’ve got two likely places coming up at the end of the month, one down in marrickville, which seems kind of the grown-up option, but is far away, another in stanmore, which is much closer to work/newtown/life, but more expensive. Neither is available til the end of the month, and things the way they are I’ll probably miss out on both, but its nice to know there are options even in this rental market. Of course, there is always the option of moving to other parts of sydney, such as the east…

This housing thing is just a huge issue at the moment. I’ve almost escaped the place I’ve been living at, in that I’m fully packed and waiting for the movers on saturday, meanwhile i’m living out of a backpack at my parents house. I’ve culled everything I own down to one suitcase and another packback to live out off while I’m here for the next few weeks, and everything else is in boxes. I’m probably the most prepared that i’ve ever been for the actual process of moving, all I have left to pack is my groceries, and my half a bottle of honey flavoured 42 below vodka (mmm… vodka…). I must not leave the vodka behind.

Now begins the gruelling process of finding a new place to live. Which will involve a) early saturday mornings, and b) not spending any money. Which is gonna suck muchly, cuz it seems after the relative lack of things on in June, everything is happening in July, and I’m not just talking that week we’ll spend making balloon animals out of condoms for the catholics when they come for that world pregnancy festival (maybe it was only in my area, but I went to a catholic highschool, and girls always got pregnant at the catholic youth group camp in the middle of the year. Do they really think sending thousands of catholic kids halfway round the world to spend a week without parental supervision wont result in a few immaculate conceptions? "No mum, it wasn’t billy, it was god!" Umm, surely the catholics know that catholics breed like catholics, you’d think!). But anyway, back to my point, much happening in July, and me able to spend very little money, and having to be up early on saturdays. It makes for a not very happy camper.

But, some good stuff is happening. I moved desks at work today, and now I’m next to a window, with heaps of natural light. It may not sound like much, but i’m one of those people whose moods get seriously affected by the amount of sun they get, or lack of it. So I spent today all bouncy and happy, which was a welcome relief. Helps me think I can get through all  this housing crap without resorting to going all emo, dying my hair black and listening to my chemical romance while drawing scars on my wrists with sharpie ink (god love emo kids).  Oh, and I’m getting a pay rise. Which is my second pay rise in the three months I’ve been working in my new job. Which, combined with the new tax cuts, makes me think I might be able to afford the horrendous amount of rent I’ll have to pay in order to not live with a psycho flatmate. Now if only I could find someplace…

My crappy housing situation is continuing to suck no end. So much so that I left this morning at 7.15am, and did not come home til 11pm, all in an effort to avoid the psycho housemate. But a brilliant plan has occured to me! Well, only brilliant compared to the plan of staying here. And that’s to move my essentials out on wednesday, and not come back til saturday when I’ve scheduled the moving van. You see, I booked the van a few weeks ago, and then was planning to take friday off work to pack everything up. But my team is having yum cha for lunch on friday, and I’m meeting a friend for lunch on thursday, and I’ve got my team meeting tomorrow and we’re having mudcake, so the only day I can take off is wednesday, and even then I’m missing the office wide end of financial year meeting with supplied snacks. But I can pack up everything on wednesday, and then not come back til saturday, when I move everything else.

I’ve got a week and a half to go before moving out of my current place, and it’s proving to be incredibly painful. I spend hours and hours out of the house each day, because the thought of coming back here is too depressing. And I came home tonight to discover my housemate had been in my room again! and left the door to my balcony unlocked again! Each night I walk home, and as I approach my place I start going over and over in my head everything I would say to her, "you’re a control freak, you’re patronising, you’ve got appaling communication skills, you’re a liar, you don’t fucking look after your cats, etc etc etc" and I have to calm myself down and remind myself its not much longer, it’ll be over soon, better to bite my tongue and not cause problems cuz it’ll be over soon. And then I remember that after this, I’ll be back out west at my parents for a few weeks till I have enough money together for bond and such. And the time stretches out til all this will be over and it’s never gonna fucking stop raining.

The problem with being in the middle of something, is that it’s hard to gain perspective. The beginning is back there, somewhere in the past, and things were different then, and the end is still a hazy distance off in the future, too distant to know how things will look like. People comment while you’re in then middle of it, exclaiming at your progress, how well it’s going, how good it must be for you, and all you can think is "it’s just what i’m doing now." You can’t take thier words on board, cuz it isn’t finished, this isn’t where you want to be, this is just the middle, and there’s still a long way to go. And it’s strange, because I’ve already spent most of my year doing this, so much time, so many hours, so many days, while everythings been going on around me. It feels like things! stuff! events! are happening to everyone else, and I plod on, more hours, more days, thinking maybe, when I get there, I’ll be able to see where I’ve been, and think its all been worth it, but right now i just don’t know. It’s just what I’m doing now.