catch28

I spend an inordinate amount of time doing something that I rarely write about these days. Primarily this would be my job. For the past 6 months I have worked in a small federal government agency, and its been enormously satisfying. After years of working in that other government agency, its so nice to actually like my job, to feel a sense of accomplishment, and to enjoy going to work each day. Sure, about 20% of my job is just spent dealing with crazy people, and there’s things that could be run better. But gosh, I have a window full of afternoon sun each day, enough variety to keep me interested, enough time to get everything done, and pleasent people to work with. I can think of much worse ways to spend my day. And yes, I know its beureaucratic, but I do largely spend a great deal of my time actually helping people. Which is more than I can say I would be doing than if I was working in the financial sector (which is where my skills lie, and I would have been great at, if I cared at all to kill myself by working long hours risking other people’s money).

So today was just a good day. A productive day. I spent the morning in training, and this afternoon got on a roll with my work that I cleared most of tomorrow’s workload. Afterwards I went to the gym, and the supermarket, and then came home and made dinner and watched buffy. All in all a good solid day.

It strikes me as weird, classical economists siding with social conservatives. The basics of market thoery should really have the economists on the side of the social liberationists. I think the reason they don’t comes down to the cost of labour, which is pretty much the biggest cost for a business. But this is stupid and short-sighted of business people. Rather than always trying to reduce the cost of labour, say by eroding workers rights, they should take it as a given, and find other ways to reduce the cost of labour, say by introducing new technology that increases the capacity of your workforce. Reducing labour costs is short-sighted but immediate, and thus gets focused on by business owners. The cycle goes like this; If I can reduce my costs (the biggest being labour), I can increase my profits, which means I can expand my business. The problem here is that the second part of the equation is left off, which goes; if I expand my business I need greater capacity (supply) to meet the greater demand, so I’ll need to expand my workforce, so my costs will go up. Which really is just supply rising to meet demand, which leaves your profits where you started.

The smart thing to do would be to maintain your costs, increase the capacity of your workforce (say by giving them better training, or investing in green energy and put power back into the energy grid). Then rather than using your increased capacity to expand your current market, which would easily drive prices down (static demand plus increase supply equals falling prices to meet the market), find a new market. But how do you find a new market? Well, essentially, in a capitalist first-world economy, you create one, which is what marketing is all about.

And this is why I think gay marriage is pretty much inevitable in Australia.

Because while there’s lots of business clamouring to cut labour costs, there’s also a lot that given up on that and are clamouring for new markets. So it goes like this; increased capacity plus static demand (or in the case of Australia, rapidly increasing supply plus reasonably increasing demand) equals excess supply. This could be stored, say by purchasing government bonds (which takes supply out of the market), or by finding new demand, or creating new demand. Practically, this means creating a new market. And because supply can’t exist without demand (ie, it has to go somewhere), there’s nothing quite as demanding as the market. So where do you find a new market in a fully functioning economy? Well, about 30-35 years ago, someone noticed that bright pink cash cow all the social conservatives had been politely ignoring, and decided to sell them their rights, wrapped up in some pretty consumerist wrapping paper, with sparkles, and gay rights have been rolling forward ever since.

So really, business needs gay marriage, because all the other gay markets have been established, and there’s still lots of excess supply going round.  Which is why I think the neo-cons aren’t really good economists, because classical economic theory says that if there is a market for it, well supply must meet demand, and there’s a market for gay marriage as there is both supply and demand for it.

I could really go on and on, about how the whole system works, and how it’ll eventually get there for most people. The reason capitalism is so strong is that it works. But it takes no account of immediate human suffering. Supply and demand will always move to meet each other under capitalism, but this is a process of weeks, months, years, and centuries, and it grinds people down. And it’s really giving all power to the market, and do we really want that? Because at the end of it all we still have human agency, the capacity to say no (which is why some markets fail), and I’d rather power stay in the hands of people.

I failed economics. Well, three unit economics. And I only failed it in year 12. And I passed two unit economics quite well. But I failed the third unit, the advanced unit, and it didn’t count towards my TER (that’s Tertiary Entrence Rank, for all the UAI babies out there). Which meant I only got into the BA at sydney uni, instead of the Bachelor of Social Science at UNSW, which was my first preference.

But, you see, of all the subjects I took for my HSC, economics has by far been the most useful since I left school. The concepts I learnt in economics, about classic economic theory, the market, business cycles, supply and demand, etc etc, are fascinating, and help me understand so much of what is going on in the world. And secretly, I love it. I love the sheer brutality of classic economic theory, how cold and heartless it is. I love being able to understand it all. And I find it beautiful in a terrible terrible way. I can’t help but be impressed by the sheer scale of the monster. Having studies economics in highschool has helped me so much in my study at uni, and when I was an activist, and during my whole career as a public servent so far. It helps me understand politics, and policy, and why something happening somewhere far off in the world can have such an impact here. It helps me understand people. I cherish the economist in me.

So I’ve decided not to go to queensland in october, and not to go to lismore for new year, and not take any of my holidays from work between now and may next year. This is mainly because during my recent housing crisis I had very little money saved, which meant I had to move back to my parents for a bit, and put in place a strict savings plan. And the thing is, I’ve found that because of my savings plan, even with the increased rent I’m now paying, I’m still saving money. I have a small wad of cash saved now, which by new year should be quite a sizable wad. Which by may should be enough of a wad to do something quite exciting with, which will also coincide with enough leave from work saved up to also do something quite exciting with. So I’m thinking of doing something quite exciting that I’ve not been able to do before, like travel, which would be cool. *must resist urge to by new computer*

So what this means is priorities. And opportunity cost. Priorities are the good things, the goals you make, and the thoughts you have to keep you motivated. Opportunity cost is all the stuff you could have done, but are deciding not to, because of the priorities. If one wished to achieve one’s priorities without becoming excessively debt-laden, the opportunity cost will come first. So I have months of opportunity costs to look forward to. So, no sleaze, no camping at broken hill, no lismore, no tropical fruits, no computer, no leave from work. Some I don’t care about, like sleaze. Others are sad because they are genuine opportunities to do things i’ve not done before, like camping at broken hill. And others are heart-breaking, cuz no matter how I figure it, I can’t make a trip to lismore cost $250 or less for the three days I could do it without taking extra time off work (and that’s excluding the cost of tickets and party favours). Petrol costs too much to drive, and camping is really only possible if you drive, and there’s no accomodation in town for less then $200 per night, and accomodation outside of town is too far without a car. Of course, I could change my mind, or up my budget, but the decision really needs to be made now on accomodation. And having been to lismore for new year three times previously, but never having been to, say, Istanbul, I think I’ll prioritise saving the money. I’ve also not done a new year in sydney since the whole concept of a queer new year in sydney imploded, so it might be interesting to stay and see what happens, especially since the done thing is to not be in sydney for new year anymore. I mean really, was there anyone from sydney not in lismore last year? It was a little ridiculous.

so when last we’d heard from our intrepid hero (ie, me), it was over a month ago, in the middle of winter, and I was somewhat between places to live.

So… what’s been doing? Well, first the good news. I have a place! and a 12 month lease! and it’s far exceeded my expectations of what I could get, and hasn’t left me so incredibly dirt poor. Which is all good. And I’m loving the ’sham. Which is ’sham talk for Petersham. It’s a wee bit further from the city than I’ve been for a few years, but so unexpectedly full of lovely bits. I’m water tower adjacent, and titty bar adjacent, and marrickville adjacent, and two trains stations adjacent, and gay bar adjacent, and leichhardt adjacent, and great turkish place adjacent, and park adjacent, and pretty damn smack-bang in the middle of everything. Ok, maybe I’m not literally right next door to all thoses things, but most are within a 6 minute walk, so its pretty damn close.

So since I moved in about three weeks ago I’ve been steadily getting back into the goove of inner city live. This has meant re-learning the parramatta road buses, and going to the gym again, and checking out the markets (whereever and whichever are on), and going to see art, and eating lots of different food, and going dancing, and going drinking, and just generally being very busy again. And, of course, spring is less then a week away, so things will get busier. So on top of that I’ve added study, which starts next week, and I’ve promised myself not to drop out of (I want a postgraduate qualification goddammit!). Spring being less than a week away means I’ve also just recently incremented into my next decade, which seems to be making me question the age-appropriateness of all my clothes, particularly the ones without sleeves.

Which brings me to my saturn return, which I am either in the middle of or safely through, depending on who I talk too. I’m thinking in the middle of is possibly more accurate, considering that since the start of the year I’ve had three different jobs, and I’ve moved three times, and I’ve had three pay rises (unconnected to the job changing). Although, now that I think about it, that means three lots of threes, so maybe its over? I dunno, if things calm down between now and new year, I’ll let you know.

Anyways, I’m muchly tired now, so off to bed. 

The last two weeks have been pretty awful. Starting with dental issues and being short staffed during the busiest week of work ever and having no prospective houses to look at to ease my rental crisis during the first week, continuing through to the most horrible week I’ve ever spent in sydney and no chance to avoid all the pilgrim arseholes swarming the city. Friday found me out in parra having dinner and counselling a friend over a recent traumatic experience she had. And saturday I woke up too late to go see the one really viable place to rent that was showing. So even though I had this great outfit worked out for kooky (somehow managing to combine the twin themes of wearing black, in protest against the pope, and neon for the winter wonderland), I just could not bring myself to be bothered trekking in for a night of conversations about a) my depressing rental crisis, and b) pilgrims.

I was also trying to avoid that pilgrim flu thats been going around. And the pilgrim gastro.

So saturday was pretty much a nothing day, compared to what my plans for it were. And sunday, well sunday was better in that I actually did what I planned to do, which was go to the gym. but that’s not exactly a ravingly great experience that I’d been looking forward to, more just my regular thing that I do.

So I wouldn’t term it a failure of a weekend, but more that circumstances conspired to make it a largely unsuccessful one. But at least I’ve got an outfit to wear next weekend, to what ever I happen to make it to.

I don’t care if you walk around with your religion on your sleve. It’s when its splashed on the light poles, and the buses, and the train stations, and the television, and the newspapers, and the parks, and pretty much damn everywhere that it starts to get to me. And its starting to get to me. WYD has been slowly filling me with rage for the past few months now, damn fucking catholics, taking over our city, getting all sorts of special benefits just cuz there’s a lot of them. its pisses me right off. And now there’s people to go with all the damn advertising. They’re really not even trying to pretend that it not just a big money spinner for the catholics are they. Can’t wait til its over, wish they’d all just fuck off now.

So last saturday I went house hunting, and found this absolutely beautiful one bedroom art deco apartment in peterham. It was stunning. Which found me on sunday running around getting my shit together to put in an application on the place. Which found me at work at 8am on monday morning, hurridly scanning things onto computer, because they don’t accept faxed applications! So, I put together this pretty sweet email, attached all my documents in pdf format, and sent it off to the real estate agent, hoping they’d pick me.

I loved this place, it was so good I actually dreamt about living there every night from saturday when i first saw it, through til last night. I even found myself fantasizing about men doing naughty things to me in the apartment, when I was having special me time. And yes, it was hotter cuz it was in that apartment. So anyway, I get to today, and I get a call from the real estate agent. Yep, you guessed it, I didn’t get the apartment.

but… appearently they loved my application, and Sylvia, the property manager, told Amy, the real estate peon, to make sure she called me because there is another apartment in the building coming up in two weeks, and they wanted to keep my application in perference for that apartment, so if I liked it I wouldn’t have to put in a new application.

Now, is it just me, or is that just a little weird? I had no idea I had somehow made the transition from scungey student renter to professional urban renter. Have I crossed that mythical line where real estate agents no longer treat me like something they scraped off the bottom of their shoe, and was now a preferred reliable tenent? Can that even happen in Sydney? Its freaking me out. 

Did your last kiss mean anything? Nothing special

How old is the last person you kissed? I don’t think I asked.

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight? Nope.

What woke you up this morning? Tooth ache

Your current relationship status? Single

What is your current mood? Satisfied

What shirt are you wearing? Bonds T.

Are you crazy? Can be, but more silly crazy, not so much psycho crazy.

What was the highlight of your week? I actually really enjoyed that personal training session on sunday.

What are you listening to? The Presets,

How long is your hair? short.

Last thing you ate? Mum’s meat pie.

Are you happy right now? ’spose.

Are you wearing make-up? Nup.

What were you doing at 11:30 last night? Going to bed.

What are you looking forward to in the next three months? Place of my own, getting tattoo for my birthday

What did you do today? Applied for a lease on a beautiful art deco apartment in petersham, all my work, go to the gym, double booked my thursday evening.

Do you like to smile? among other things.

What time do you usually wake up on the weekends? 9am generally.

What are you wearing? runners, work pants, wool jacket.

If you could live somewhere else, where would it be? London, New York, Ballina etc

Do you like your phone? Much better than my last one.

Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong? Can’t remember the last time I was wrong

Last time you took a nap? Saturday, after some beers and codeine.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close? Maybe, but i’m sure there’ll be reconnection. people get busy, and who can blame them?

When was the last time you cried really hard? A while ago, maybe a year or two. I cry a little more often now though.

Who was the last person who texted you? My Personal Trainer.

What is your natural hair color? brown.

Can you play guitar hero? Nope

Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Warm, and sunny.

What do you currently smell like? sweaty

Last thing you bought? Protein Shake

Have you ever shared a drink with anyone? der.

How much money do you have on you? $10 I think

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be? Not really, which is kinda boring.

Do you burn easily in the sun? Can do, have done.

Where did your last hug take place? In my parent’s kitchen.

Where were you raised? South-west Sydney.

It’s been almost a week since I fled the psycho housemate, and gosh, being west is just so much not fun. One has to get up much earlier and travel much further in much more unpleasent conditions, just to get to the same spot that a sunny stroll down tree lined streets used to get me to. Oh well. Re-adjusting to public transport is trying at best.

Muchly thanks goes out to friends who’ve let me know of possible share housing options. It’s totally appreciated, but me thinks I’m wedded to the idea of my own place for a while at least. I’ve got two likely places coming up at the end of the month, one down in marrickville, which seems kind of the grown-up option, but is far away, another in stanmore, which is much closer to work/newtown/life, but more expensive. Neither is available til the end of the month, and things the way they are I’ll probably miss out on both, but its nice to know there are options even in this rental market. Of course, there is always the option of moving to other parts of sydney, such as the east…