Often I think to myself what would I do in certain situations, and often my response is that I would sit and cry. For example, if I were in some sort of tragic ordeal, and then I returned several years later to the scene of that tragic ordeal, I would just sit and cry. The past two days have felt very much like that. Like I’ve been visiting the site of some terrible thing I went through, and even though I’ve survived and moved on yada yada yada, returning there makes me feel like I just want to sit and cry. Not because I’m still upset or hurt or anything, but the memories are still very strong, and I can so clearly remember what it felt like at the time. The identification of my present self with my past self is still so strong, and yet it is hard to not acknowledge the changes, the disconnections between then and now. The feelings are no longer a perfect fit. Still it is hard to make sense of it all. I’ve often been accused that I don’t let go of things easily. I suppose it is true. Yet I wonder; how long will it take?
I downloaded a biorhythm widget. It says the emotionally I’m at my lowest ebb yesterday and today.