catch28

The problem with being in the middle of something, is that it’s hard to gain perspective. The beginning is back there, somewhere in the past, and things were different then, and the end is still a hazy distance off in the future, too distant to know how things will look like. People comment while you’re in then middle of it, exclaiming at your progress, how well it’s going, how good it must be for you, and all you can think is "it’s just what i’m doing now." You can’t take thier words on board, cuz it isn’t finished, this isn’t where you want to be, this is just the middle, and there’s still a long way to go. And it’s strange, because I’ve already spent most of my year doing this, so much time, so many hours, so many days, while everythings been going on around me. It feels like things! stuff! events! are happening to everyone else, and I plod on, more hours, more days, thinking maybe, when I get there, I’ll be able to see where I’ve been, and think its all been worth it, but right now i just don’t know. It’s just what I’m doing now.